Harry S01E01-04 (TV3, 2013)

After a heads-up last year, Harry turned up without much notice (or so it seemed to me) and has so far progressed with all the speed of a turd.

It feels faintly unpatriotic or something to describe the show that way but, really, no matter the colourful gritty portrayal of South Auckland and the employment of a large swathe of Maori and Pasifika actors in such a high profile production, the finished product is a very big disappointment.

Take the somnabulent direction (yeah it's pretty and flashy but the pacing is so slooow), the clumsy dialogue (miss something earlier in the show? it's okay, someone will tell us what happened), and a story strung out over six - fucking SIX! - eps that would take any other even half-interesting procedural show one, maybe even two, eps to tell.

Take this week's ep where hero detective Harry (Oscar Kightley) gave some meth cook a cellphone, and how that phone led to the cook's demise.  With scripted policing like this - one of the writers is a former officer - recent events like the Urewera occupation and the Kim Dotcom fiasco would seem to indicate that this show is merely art imitating life.

Whoa, this show has sure got me riled up, bringing in recent events and shit into a review (and my longest post for some time).  It's the lost opportunity that pains me the most:  a Kiwi cop show with a brown lead and a whole lot of New Zealand On Air swag, considered edgy and gritty by mainstream media, but for this blogger undone by an absence of imagination in the writing (the dialogue particularly) and execution.

Yeah, I'll watch this to the fucking end.  'Cause I'm like that, bitches.

Vegas Cancelled

Ah crapola.

A Good Day to Die Hard (2013; John Moore / Skip Woods)

 A fifteen minute chase scene that is less interesting than the most boring car chase in Rising Sun.

B-, no, E-grade dialogue in case you're goddamned blind.

Proof that one can progress from Behind Enemy Lines to a so-so franchise.

Oh, Bruce.  Bruce, Bruce, Bruce, Bruce, Bruce.

Endeavour S01E01-02 (ITV, 2013-)

Those with fond memories of John Thaw grumping about Oxford will be pleasantly surprised by this prequel.

The first ep - have only realised there was a proper pilot last year which I'm tracking down - was a nice return to the look, feel and sound of the original Morse series, with just enough modern touches to keep a 21st century interested.  Shaun Evans makes a nice gangling and awkward young Morse who, in the words of his mentor, is "a brilliant detective but a poor policeman."  Roger Allam as said mentor is pitch perfect as a period plod with a brain and heart - and an obvious soft spot for his protege.  The rest of the cast - along with the week's guest stars - provide nice period colour - something that seemed sorely lacking from a random ep of Martin Shaw's George Gently.

The first ep's direction is solid and the writing is spot-on, a very comforting experience, while the second ep's Se7en and Silence of the Lambs influences clang a little heavily, and are forgiven only by the consistent characterisations.

The Better Half certainly likes the show.  It's Comfort TV, especially in these coming cold months.

The Last Stand (2013; Jee-woon Kim / Andrew Knauer)

Where the awful Olympus Has Fallen sucked ass with everything, The Last Stand succeeds with low expectations, minimal story and animal charisma aplenty.

The Eighties and Nineties might be a distant and hazy memory but it's nice to have Arnold back.

Olympus Has Fallen (2013; Antoine Fuqua / Creighton Rothenberger & Katrin Benedikt)

Antoine - bro!  Cuz!

Seriously:  WHAT THE FUCKETY FUCKINGLY FUCK, bro?

A flat-out Die Hard in the White House movie?  And now I see why Gerard Butler get so much stick.  He's about as much fun as a felching session with a parent-in-law.

Hey, the trailer was shit but I admire your work, bro, and I thought, The finished film can not be as bad as this shitty trailer.  And then I saw the finished film and I'm like, WTF?

Christ All-fucking-mighty.

Hannibal S01E01 (NBC, 2013-)

Only one name made me sit down and watch this show:  Bryan Fuller.  The man whose shows Pushing Daisies and Dead Like Me were tragically cut short.  Those shows weren't my cuppa tea, I tell you, but they were watchable - more than watchable:  entertaining television.

The pilot is good.  Mr Fuller and friends seem to have taken into account all of the Hannibal material rather than committee cherry-picked from the films.  This is promising.

Think I'll have to watch it again with the Better Half at my side.

The Walking Dead S03E13

The more I watch this show, the more I hate myself for watching this show.

Cracked S01E01-02 (CBC, 2013-)

The concept is as old as The Odd Couple:  a crazy/kooky/damaged cop who solves crimes.

Cracked certainly has its share of crazy, kooky and damage, and after the pilot I thought I had it pegged.  Case of the week, team work that doesn't get in the way of the hero cop being in the right place at the right time, and shit details for not only fans of procedurals like myself but likely those who work in mental health.  I was mostly right.

It was the second ep that distilled my pros and cons about the show:

• when the Consulting Psychiatrist goes into a situation on her own, and she clocks clues that she's very likely with the Murderer, Don't fucking poke the bear, lady;
• when the Hero Cop saves the Consulting Psychiatrist from aforementioned situation, Cuff the perp to ensure he's no longer a threat rather than presume he's knocked out from your flurry of manly blows and go straight to your potential series love interest;
• I know it's only the second ep but I was over the moon pretty glad that the show did not reinforce the stereotype that all mad people kill - some do, sure, but mostly they're a danger to themselves.

I completely understand some licence has to be taken for the sake of drama so, sure, interrogate a mentally unwell suspect because there's a ticking clock - but, Jesus H Christ almight:  you sure you want to assume the general population hasn't seen Cops in this lifetime?

Justified S04E08

Whatever I last said about this season, I clearly wasn't passionate enough.

A cop show where the hero's father is a consistently mean sumbitch, where the recently-engaged couple of the show's world are its ambitious and charming crime-lord and -lady, and a well-meaning ex-army buddy with a habit lays the tracks for his own trainwreck and might just be a career-turner for Ron Eldard.  God. Damn.

If you aren't already watching this show, I need you to go stand in the corner there while I count to ten and calm the heck down.

The Walking Dead S03E10

Been a Michael Rooker fan since Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer, and through all the cardboardy, cartoony redneck sicko characters he's portrayed in the last couple of decades, there's always been something worth watching about him, something goddamned human.

Not so in this season where his Merle Dixon is a masterpiece of tissue-thin characterisation with a flaming neon sign above his head screaming I'm a plot instigator, and I'm like, Are you fuckin' shitting me?

Update:  Yeah, by ep's end, there's hope.  But I can't help but think of that wonderful phrase, With hope in one hand and shit in the other, which do you think'll fill up first?

Secret State (Channel 4, 2012)

Disclosure:  I've had a crush on Gabriel Byrne for as long as I can remember.  Part of it is the Irish brogue.  Another part is that, no matter how shitty the material, he's been believable and watchable every time.

In Secret State, Byrne plays a national leader reluctant to do battle, but when required to do so, does so with heart and conviction.  Charles Dance is in it, too, in a nice role.  I don't want to say any more - I enjoyed this mini-series immensely, so much I might even watch it again.  So what if it was a little hard to believe Byrne's character being involved in the shenanigans of the series' plot, or that the dialogue was sometimes a bit on-the-nose, or that the cast of characters was so big as to make me spend crucial seconds at the head of some scenes trying to figure out who the hell was talking.

If you're a fan of Dave, you enjoyed the class of Bletchley Circle, and you fancy yourself a closet political pundit, Secret State is highly recommended.

Transporter: The Series S01E01-02

Sure the pilot had to have everything the films have but on a smaller per-minute budget, and it didn't disappoint.  ("Not disappointing" is possible when expectations are "this is going to be awful".)

It's not the kind of show for me.

Which raises the question of why I'm bothering to watch the second ep as I type this.  It's not the car chases - and in the ep, there's an ATV chase so far.  It's not the wooden acting.  Not the script which seems to have been written by the people who gave us The Sweeney (breasts, industrial-stylised simulated sex, and the f-word in every second sentence).

I know:  it's the guns.  There're so many of them.  And they're used so often.

... Aaaannd no.  The expository-bogged second and third acts have given me a headache.

Goodbye Frank.

The Following (Fox, 2013-)

There's been buzz about this show - I think I even bought into it last year - that the pilot deserves.  It's got good acting from Kevin Bacon and Natalie Zea (and a lot of hamming from James Purefoy and some serious character underdevelopment for Jeananne Goossen), a decent script from Kevin Williamson, and execution that is stylish, pacey with occasional flourishes to remind what B material this is.

Half way through the ep, I realised how self-referencing it is, and by the time the engine of the series is revealed, I think, Fuck this - shoot the fucker and stop this shit right the fuck now.

No one listens to me, of course.  There's fourteen more episodes of this rubbish.

But at least I've seen what the buzz is about.

Justified S04E03-04

It took a couple of eps - slow story-, character- and scene-setting stuff - and then ep 03 comes along and taps you with a police baton, and then ep 04 jolts you to the heart with the Story of Ellen May.

The care the writers take with the characters, taking them on arcs that are unlikely and unpredictable but totally believable, shines through with their female characters - and encapsulated by this season's time with Abby Miller's whore-with-a-heart-of-gold (but otherwise entertainingly dim) Ellen May.  She means well.  She's not trying to make trouble.  She's just a little girl lost.

All of the above sound like I'm making excuses for a character I have the hots for.  (Besides not being my type) Ellen May is all of the above, and Miller's portrayal captures perfectly an innocence that's not quite been lost or buried, and the Story of Ellen May is that much more gripping for it.

After a third season that just couldn't compare with its preceding cuticle-gnawing sophomore season, season four might be where the makers of Justified elevate the show to all-time greatness.

Falcon: The Silent and the Damned (Sky, 2012)

Where The Blind Man of Seville was an intriguing detective mystery, The Silent and the Damned was... a talky and bland procedural for morons.

Great acting, though.  Nice scenery, too - even had me flashing on Almodavar.

But God what a boring story.

The Hour - Season 2 - Debrief

Half-way through the season finale, more-than-a-mere-housewife Marnie Madden tells her philandering TV-star husband Hector that she's preggers.  Except - was it the penultimate ep? - Hector told colleague and proper journo Freddie Lyon that he was sterile.  Dominic West's craft - ho, Bal'more! - coupled with the absolute lack of dialogue for those precious few seconds, were television gold.

It's a pity it was one of a mere few flakes of the shiny stuff that The Hour has thrown up this season.  Everything else has been exposition, melodrama and pantomime level dialogue.  Pity.

The Hour S02E02

My last post about this show was two months ago.  That's how excited the season opener made me feel about moving on to the next ep.  (What with Last Resort and Vegas, not very.)

So I started watching the second ep last night and I found myself admiring the widescreen telly we have - that Sony box has done us well, it has - oh wait, that guy from The Wire has just gotten himself thrown in gaol and - my, it's been ages since I've vacuumed the ceiling.

There is a sore and desperate need for some bloody drama in this show that is really lacking.  "But the guy from The Wire's in gaol!" you cry.  Don't care.  "Oh no, the Perfume guy's French wife has just been inked!" you shriek.  Don't care.  "And the woman from Dirty Dancing: Havana Nights - oh her heart, 'tis broke!" you rail.

Don't.  Fucking.  Care.

Vegas S01E11

Ay, wow.

Okay, the Little Brother getting something on with the Gangster's Daughter plot I can do without - or it could do with a lot less cheese.  Sure, the Sheriff's Son relationship with the Spicy Sheriff's Office Manager has so far been nicely underplayed.  Yeah, Quaid's Lamb is beginning to grate with the teeth-flashing and guttural noises that are supposed to pass for hero-of-few-words.

But it's Chiklis' Savino that's really beginning to shine.  My doubts of a post-Shield Chiklis as a Chicago mobster have been shoved aside by Chiklis as a Mobster with a Dream.  People are doing things with the best intentions.  Complications are ensuing.  Things are going to get worse before they get better.

What a great way to come into the new year.

Zero Dark Thirty (2012; Kathryn Bigelow / Mark Boal)

Engrossing, intense, didn't-feel-like-150-minutes, classy filmmaking.

Barely a week into 2013 and I've already got a film of the year contender.