03 January 2016

Star Wars VII (2015; JJ Abrams / Abrams, Lawrence Kasdan and Michael Arndt)

Star Wars The Force Awakens Theatrical Poster.jpg
"Star Wars The Force Awakens Theatrical Poster" by Source. Licensed under Fair use via Wikipedia.

First and only thoughts upon leaving the screening of this long-awaited instalment:
  • it's a shameless, shameless remake of Star Wars IV;
  • after twenty minutes of ads and trailers, I’m like, “Fuck you, Cinema Theatre Experience: I’ll fuckin’ wait”;
  • upon hearing it's likely the first of another Star Wars trilogy, the Better Half said, “I love you but I'm not watching any more of this rubbish”;
  • to the Canadian salesman who responded to a lukewarm review by wishing reviewer Andrew O’Hehir dead: fucking drop dead yourself, you motherfucking loser;
  • I goddamned guarantee you that the final of this trilogy will be motherfuckin’ split into two parts.

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