Elementary S01E01 (CBS, 2012)

Elementary is unfortunate to open in the long shadow of Sherlock and countless earlier UK iterations.  Sure they keep the sleuth English with lead Jonny Lee Miller and 'update'/'reimagine' the show with an Asian American female Watson in Lucy Liu, and set it in the Big Apple, with the pilot helmed by Michael Cuesta, veteran pilot director of Dexter and Homeland.

I made it half-way through when a voice beside me cried out, "Please make it stop!"

I guess I'd zoned out and was waiting for the next spoonful of narrative yummy-gummy-ness.

It is so slooow.  There's no spark between leads Miller and Liu.  I hated the opening with yet another bloody voyeuristic imagining of how to kill a woman painfully.  I'm an old fan of Lestrade-equivalent Aidan Quinn - have been since Desperately Seeking Susan - but his role is so grateful and dull and thankless.  And the pace is sooo slow.

Boring.  That's the word.